Can't Miss What You Never Had
by blackberriesandhoney
Summary: Echo/Topher. AU. If Caroline had finished out her term, but Paul still worked for Dollhouse. What if Topher began to care for one of his "creations"?


"Topher? That is your name?" Echo sounded confused.

It's Caroline now.

He was always forgetting, he didn't want her to be Caroline. He wanted Echo was better than anything he could have ever created. She has evolved on her own, and her brain was more advanced than he could even begin to comprehend.

When he was given the job, they never told him this. They never told him how much he would end up caring...for Echo. They didn't tell him how hard it would be to watch her look at him as a stranger, when all he wanted was for her to give him the look.

The look was something he had saw from his mother. His father had been a traveling salesman, lower middle class, no time for family. But every time Joe Brink would walk through the door, his mother would give him this look that said everything was going to be okay.

One time, Ivy had messed up a swipe, Echo gave him that look. He had felt this pang deep inside and he wanted to hold her...to know that every thing was going to be okay.

That was then.

She was Echo.

Now, she's Caroline.

"You can call me Dr. Brink..." He let out one of those awkward laughs.

"I remember." It was barely above a whisper.

He froze. Those two words had turned his blood to ice. There is no way.

She can't remember, it had been a complete wipe, nothing had been left...nothing.

"I know what happened, and I...I haven't lost any of those feelings." She was still whispering. Barely louder than the hum of his many computers, Topher felt as though she was screaming.

"I don't understand what you are referring to, Miss Farrell." He barely choked the words out.

"Do not call me that, I am not simply Caroline." Anger flashed across her face.

"What about Omega?" He regretted the ill joke immediately after he said it. She cringed.

"I would rather you didn't." She took a minute to compose herself, "I don't know what to do about you."

"Do you have to do anything?"

"You made me what I am. And you did things...wonderful things to comfort me...I am just so, so confused." She sounded like Echo. Her voice had lost the knowledge that Caroline had, she was back to doll state...Echo must have taken over when Caroline had entered Topher's workspace.

"I don't know what you are talkin-" He stopped because she held up a hand.

"Don't...don't lie, I know how you feel, you've told me when I was someone else, don't lie to me now that I'm everyone."

"It just can't...Ech...Caroline, I-I was wrong to say anything to you...it was wrong of..."

"It would have never worked anyway, right?"

Topher laughed, "I think Ballard would kill me."

He was staring straight into her eyes, and it could see them change.

"Paul." Echo/Caroline sighed.

Paul Ballard was her savior, Topher knew that, yet he felt jealous of the pure happiness that crossed her face when his name was spoken. Topher was just the creator, he had helped form her mind this way and she should resent him for it...Ballard had saved Caroline Farrell from Rossum, not Topher. Topher had just helped make her one of their pawns.

Caroline sent him a sad smile, "I know you care Topher...and I know the truth."

Topher didn't reply. There was no way she could know.

"I know you destroyed the real Caroline, this Caroline is nothing but an echo of the real one." She whispered the words.

It was the truth and how she knew? Only the higher-ups knew. It had been done so that Caroline would not fight the Dollhouse, Topher made sure it was in her implant that she had no ill feelings towards the Dollhouse and that any thoughts that were negative towards the Dollhouse would be dismissed, immediately.

He had done it for her safety, if she had went up against them, they would have killed her.

"I'm sorry." The word sorry felt foreign to him.

"You can't miss what you never had." She walked slowly towards him, "Do you miss Echo?"

"I never had her." Topher muttered.

"Yes, you did. Do you not remember when Dominic was a mole? She volunteered herself, and she didn't even know what it was." Caroline was coming closer, "You were the last and first face she saw after every imprint...You were the most important person in her life."

"Well, she's gone now. There is no need to bring up the past."

He moved away before she could reach him. He crossed his arms and looked away. He didn't see the hurt look on her face. Caroline quickly moved to the door.

"She's not gone." Caroline's soft voice was followed by the soft murmur of the door shutting.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

**I know Dollhouse is WAY over, and I gotta say, I hate Joss Whedon for killing Paul Ballard...**

**Anyway, I always thought Topher, despite being the cynically bastard (love ya Toph!) might have become attached to his "creations", of course if this were to happen it would happen with Echo, every one wants a bit of that...seriously...**

**Comment cause writers need it for improvement :)**


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